So, I got caught…finally. It was only a matter of time before someone discovered the truth. It actually feels good to be “found out”. It’s probably just the impetus I needed to situate my “walk” and my “talk” on the same straight line. Mahatma Gandi said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in complete harmony”. In other words, walking your talk. Confused?
If you spend any time with me, you will inevitably hear me say that reflection and transparency are essential to deep learning. Blah. Blah. Blah. What good are those words if I don’t practice them myself? When was the last time I posted to this blog? January 2009. Evidently I haven’t learned anything since then because you’re not going to find too many places or spaces where I’ve shared my learning. I continue to lurk…lurk…lurk. Why? Because…I just don’t believe I have anything more to add to the conversation. There. I said it.
I must admit the pull to perseverate over the “why” behind my resistance to being transparent is large and tempting; a better question…a more productive question is “what am I going to do about it?” Because quite honestly, I no longer care to be out of sync with what I say, do and am. I want to trade in the straight jacket I’ve clung to for so many years (it doesn’t fit anymore) and find my rhythm…the place where my walk and my talk are in perfect, precise syncopation. I want to erase the imaginary line of not being “good enough” and re-discover the me I was before I became less than I was meant to be.
So, to Sheryl Nussbaum Beach, thank you for calling me out…for refusing to let me be small. In the spirit of transparency, I think I owe you (and everyone else) a post. (Or two.) Stay tuned…
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August 2nd, 2009 at 7:59 pm
I wasn’t calling you out! I was sincere in wanting to learn from what you learned and are planning on implementing. I had no idea you hadn’t been sharing. You have so much to add to the conversation- and I for one am excited you will be using your voice. Listening and ready to learn.
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:24 pm
You know, you’re right…you didn’t call me out. But somehow I always feel like reaching a little higher because of you. I think of this quote when I think of you:
“You get the most effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them but by building a fire within them.” Bob Nelson
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Cary,you are one of the most reflective and transparent people I know. I can say that because I’ve spent time with you. I know that through our conversations, questions you’ve asked, and opinions you’ve offered, you are constantly sharing your learning, and in doing so, you have been teaching those of us who have had the pleasure of being in your company. I know that I have learned so much from you over the past two years. I have grown exponentially and my whole outlook on teaching and learning has changed drastically because of our conversations, and the programs you have implemented in our district. I think it’s great that you will be sharing more on your blog. Others will learn what I already know about you… that you have some important and insightful things to say. I, too, will be listening!
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Celeste,
Why is it that I am both grateful and surprised at the same time? Your words are a true gift to me; now I just need to figure out why I find myself surprised by them. Hmmm…
August 4th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Isn’t it interesting how one person’s words can really affect us? That is what YOU do for me. I would not be the teacher I am today without you. I know you’re not looking for affirmations here, but it’s true. I value your words!
August 4th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Thanks so much, Hannah. I didn’t write the post to elicit affirmations but it certainly is wonderful knowing you are part of a special “tribe” (think Seth Godin) of mutual admirers. The beauty of all of this is that I learn just as much from you as you learn from me…precisely Sheryl’s point, I believe. It’s through our discourse that we deepen our understandings. It kind of expands our beliefs about the word “teacher”, yes?